Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-jig

My sons who were on a mission trip this summer for 7 weeks are home. Yay! The oldest has been away for a training program for the past 10 months (with college-like visits throughout) and the mission trip was the last part of it. We traveled It is obvious he has really grown spiritually during that time. It's wonderful to see that! Life hasn't always been easy with him. We went through a time of rebellion and anger from him and wondered where it would lead. He hasn't arrived. None of us have (here on earth), but he's so different than he was even 2 years ago.

And yet......he's already getting into it with his 17 year-old sister. Their relationship has been very good for the past year, much better than ever before. But she's at a rebellious point and now he takes our side. He likes to think of himself as a vice parent. We frequently tell him he's not, but does get somewhat bossy with his siblings. Mostly his sister. Not only do I not need his help, I'm concerned that it will hurt his relationship with her AND stress her relationship with her dad and me more than it already is. He's teasing her about issues that she's sensitive about and pushing her about things that will make her want to rebel more. I tried to talk to both of them yesterday about the bickering and he said they're just playing, but she's not. She's angry with him and she's ready for him to leave already and he's only been home a day and a half.

He's hoping to only be home for about four months while he works and saves some money in preparation for his next step (which is yet to be determined). As much as I love him and want him to live here, we've gotten used to him being gone and I think it may be best for the family now if he's not here permanently. Almost all because of the difficulties with his sister I foresee, but also because I suspect that after the freedom from us he's had the last year he will find it difficult to live with all of us again as well, which will make it stressful for all of us.

Launching them into independence sure ain't easy.

Does the Music Stink?

It's been a while since I posted. I've got one post waiting to be finished about our church struggles, but I don't know if or when I'll finish it. One of the main issues we're struggling with in our congregation, as many are, is music. The congregation just can't agree. As usual it's mostly along age lines. Hymns or praise choruses or even more current songstyles. How loud and do we have to have drums? We even had one visitor storm out in the middle of worship muttering about how guitars do not belong in church. Huh?

Anyway, so this issue has been on my mind a lot. Not only because we want unity in the church, but because my husband is the program director which means he's in charge of what goes on during the service and gets all the complaints from all areas of the spectrum.

I just read this position paper I found The Music Stinks! and was pretty amazed at this guy's assertions about music in the church. The author is Dave Hatcher who is the pastor of Eastside Evangelical Fellowship in Kirkland, WA. No, I don't know who he is, but given the disagreements in our church over music I thought this would be a dandy article to start a discussion of worship music.

Some excerpts:

At the time of the Reformation, the church was the centerpiece for the
cultural norms of Truth, Beauty and Goodness.

In the seventies and eighties, after
over 150 years with no sense of what 'high art' ought to look like, and a
growing consumer mentality within the church, we caved into the demand for
pop-worship styles, along with our sermonettes and skits, for game-show like
worship services.

So, is he saying there has been no good worship songs written in the past 150 years? And 'high art'? I thought we were to praise God with sincere hearts and make a joyful noise to the Lord. Have I missed the verse teaching high art?

And what will the church say of the music of the twentieth century that was used in the worship of God in 'modern' churches? I would guess that it will simply be a quick illustration of how the twentieth century church, lacking any moral or aesthetic leadership, followed after the unbelieving world, desperately seeking its attention and acceptance, like the unattractive woman she had become.

While I agree that we need to be careful in how we might change our worship to reach out to the unchurched and that we shouldn't make our worship service all about them, does he really think that not singing songs that are two, three or four hundred years old necessarily means a church is lacking any moral leadership???

In addition, as worship services become more and more man-centered, focused on 'bringing them in', we serve music that suits the tastes of the God-hating unbeliever. If music were the beverage used to proclaim a toast to the King of kings, we have substituted Bud-Lite for fine champagne, simply because Bubba and his boys never acquired a taste for the latter. All for the sake of 'earning the right to be heard', we no longer have anything to say.

Jesus was a simple man from a simple family. One of the remarkable things about the gospel that touches many people is how it speaks to ALL, not just the upper class or even middle class but that the humblest person was loved enough by Jesus that he made the ultimate sacrifice for even him or her. The author seems to confuse good aesthetics and high quality hymns with holiness and common modern music with being man-centered and God-hating. I am appalled at his elitism.

Solutions. If we are thinking covenantally, then we must understand that 'we' are the problem, not 'they'. We must begin by repenting ourselves. Rather than building on the work of great church-musicians like J.S. Bach, we have gone down a long road of compromises, theologically, lyrically, and musically. These decisions have been made in the orthodox church for the most part, paralleling our compromises in the areas of science and rationalism, the integrity of the Scriptures and translations, and relativism in every area of art and the aesthetics.

A return to the hymns of the previous centuries, particularly the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries when the reformation was making all kinds of wonderful applications in the arts, is certainly the place to start.

Yes, he really is dismissing the last 150 or so years of Christian music.

Including the ones that share the gospel message or that praise God with words straight out of the scriptures. Well, certainly he can't be criticizing all those songs (there's a lot of 'em) based on the words, so it must be purely on his personal preferences of musical style. I'm guessing he'd hate my new favorite, Lead Me to the Cross. It shares the gospel message but our worship team plays it with drums, guitars and electric bass and it sure ain't no Bach:

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart


I just can't believe this guy is dismissing nearly 200 years' worth of songs because they aren't aesthetically pleasing to him. I agree that some songs are theologically incorrect or trite. But the rest is just personal preference. I personally don't like singing the same line over 10 times. But that doesn't mean someone else doesn't find it wonderful to really focus on the meaning of that one line. Look at scripture. There is lots of repeating in the psalms. Or how about what the angels sing in the heavens. LOTS of repetition there. :-) I also can't enjoy rap music and hope to never incorporate that into our regular worship time, but that doesn't mean I think it can't be holy and pleasing to the Lord.

What do you think about worship music? Should we stick to hymns? Only hymns that are good quality (like from the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries)? Are there any instruments that should be banned from church? Do you think your church service looks more like a game show? ;-)

God Says Children.....

1. will eat you out of house and home (not just house OR home, but BOTH! :-)
2. drive you insane
3. will send you into bankruptcy by sending 5000+ text messages in just one month
4. are like olive shoots

You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD. Psalm 128:2-4

Yes, the correct answer is olive shoots. Okay, so next time I'll try to make my quiz a little harder.

I get lots of comments about having 8 children.

• "Don't you guys own a tv?" Yeah, but we don't have cable.
• "Don't you know what causes that?" Oh yes! {big smile}
• "I am one of 8 children. You are blessed!" Yes, we are. Thanks.
• "You are crazy." Yep! Isn't it great?
• "You certainly have your hands full." Yep! Isn't it great?
• "Are you done yet?" I don't know, that's up to God.

Probably the one I hear most is, "How do you do it?" People often think or even say that I'm superwoman. That really makes me uncomfortable. I'm not superwoman, I'm not even somewhat-better-than-average-woman. I'm "just" a mom, like most other moms out there. Sometimes my children drive me crazy, I'm stressed out too often and my house is usually a mess. So why do I have 8 children? That's a question I'm surprisingly asked very infrequently. Usually when I am asked that, it's a stranger in a situation where I don't have a lot of time. A good brief answer is: God says children are a blessing.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:4-5

Yes, children are hard work. I have had to sacrifice some things I'd like to do to take care of them. They do cost a lot of money. But, they have blessed me in more ways than I can say. They are fun, cute, silly, loving, sweet and charming. They cuddle with me and think I'm wonderful (most of the time)(okay, .... not so much when they are teens). They teach me lots of things about the stars, animals, playing princess, Star Wars, Legend of Zelda, and ipods. But the biggest learning comes from the parallels I can see between my relationship with my children and my relationship with God the Father. Wow! Just all kinds of lessons there!

I believe that God gave us each child that my husband and I have.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

They didn't just happen as a product of biology. He knows us and knows what we need and knows each of our children and chose us to be together as a family. God is the creator of life - that means only He can bring new life - and that means I wouldn't have 8 children unless God had chosen to give me them. All of them. I don't know why I am so blessed. I'm not the best mom or teacher. I'm disorganized and impatient. I'm not a superwoman, but as I've heard others say, I've got a super God and through Him I can be just the mom these children need me to be.

A Prayer for Change in Me

Nearly two years ago my mother-in-law (mil) went to her heavenly home and God decided I needed to grow. My father-in-law (fil) came to live with us.

He's a nice guy and a Christian so it should be easy to live with him, right? Well, I've been struggling with this situation nearly the whole time he's been here. I mean, initially I was for it. My husband is an only child and my fil wouldn't have enough money without his wife's social security to continue living in their apartment. Or really anywhere for that matter. His only son should take care of him. Family should take care of family. I believe that, but it's not always easy. And about 4 months after his arrival I found myself wishing he'd just go home. Only, he was home. Right here with us.

It's really like having another child. That may sound mean, but it's true. He can't drive and has lots of doctor appointments, so we are constantly having to spend a lot of time chaffeuring him. He is very self-centered. No matter the topic, for him it's all about how it will affect him. He overreacts and yells when the baby does minor things. He's even argued with children in a "you started it" type of debate.

Our daughters had to give up their bedroom for my fil. They are in an unsatisfactory "bedroom" (others have to walk through it to get their bedrooms) with no closet and very little space for their things. The baby who would be in with her sisters is still in our bedroom. When we moved to this house I thought, "how great,!"finally we could move a baby out of our room when we were ready instead of them staying because there was no where else to put him/her. Practically speaking, we just don't have room for him anymore. At first it wasn't too bad, but we really need that bedroom back for children. We can't afford an addition or any other option we've explored so far.

And then there's just all the annoying things he does. I know we all have annoying habits. I have them and so does dh, but we chose to live with each other. I feel like I was forced to live with my fil (not by anyone, but by the situation) and I resent that.

I could list all kinds of things he does that would get you on my side and sympathetic to having to deal with all this, but I'm not going to do that. I know that for the most part, my struggle to deal with this is mine. I'm the problem. I'm too easily irritated. I expect too much. I just can't be the sweet servant that I picture God would like me to be. I guess it's my resentment that my fil and mil were foolish with their money all their lives. Now he pays the price, but so do my husband and I. I can't forgive him for making terrible choices in the way he handled money and was (and is) so passive and unambitious that they ended in deep debt.

What I've shared isn't easy. I know I'm being selfish and petty. I know this is not how I should feel. I should be happy to help a loved one, one who helped make my husband who he is. I am not proud of my thoughts. I've prayed a lot about this. Prayed for help in forgiving, for a sweet spirit, for a humble heart. So far they haven't arrived. I continue to struggle with this. Sometimes I pray that God will find him somewhere else to live so I don't have to deal with all of it. I pray for God to work out the bedroom situation soon. Even though I never say anything negative about my fil to or in front of my children the girls wish they could have their bedroom back and kind of resent Grandpa for taking it.

So why did I share all this? Well, this blog is mainly for me to really take a look at myself. To be honest about me. In this case, honest about my failings so that I can make the changes I need to. I can see that my attitude and tone of voice with him is getting worse not better, but I can't seem to stop it. So, I could use prayer. It's painfully obvious to me that I cannot change myself, only God can change me.

"Lord, I pray that you would change my heart. Help me to forgive my fil. You have forgiven me so many things, often much worse than being foolish with my money. Show my how to forgive. Help me to truly love my fil. Love is an action, so help me to show that love by the way I talk and the things I do. I know I can't do these things myself. Only you have the power to change my wicked heart from selfish to selfless; from resentful to forgiving; from short-tempered to sweet-tempered; from hateful to loving. Please work in me for your glory. Amen"

Feminism

I've been reading a lot of blogs recently discussing feminism and complementarians vs. egalitarians within the church. Those last two I had never heard and didn't know what they meant until the last couple of months.

I have a hard time with feminism. Yes, there were a lot of good things that came out of the feminist movement. Women's right to own property, to not be considered their husbands' property, right to vote etc. Unfortunately, feminism is tied to many bad things, too - selfishness, man-hating, the "me" generation, the sexual revolution and abortion to name a few that spring to mind. Many women were so wrapped up in getting for themselves they couldn't see the damage that they were doing to others and even themselves in the process and they were hurting other women as they encouraged them to do the same.

I am thankful that I have the rights I do as a woman, perhaps I would have been a feminist in the early days of the movement, but now I could never consider myself a feminist.

Gladys, China and My Boys

Gladys Aylward


A couple of days ago I was looking for a movie at the library and spotted The Inn of the Sixth Happiness. I'd never seen it but had heard it was about Gladys Aylward as a missionary in China. I enjoyed it, though some of the acting was poor, but most was good. I've only read a Trailblazer book about Gladys Aylward as a read-aloud to my children, so I'm sure I don't know many details, but I'm pretty sure the scriptwriters added the whole romance she had in the movie. In fact, I just did a little web-surfing and learned that Gladys was embarrassed about the movie, especially the "love scenes" which never happened. However, I was reminded of her stubbornness to follow where God led her despite no one having faith in her ability to be a missionary in China. And she accomplished amazing things there, because she listened and obeyed God instead of men. Awesome and inspiring. I guess I should read a proper biography of her life.

Part of the reason I chose that movie was that my two oldest sons (19 and 15) are in China at this very moment on a mission trip. So it seemed very fitting. Of course, they can't go in as missionaries. They are there as students helping Chinese students learn conversational English. While they are there they hope to make friendships that will open the door for them to share their hope and belief in Christ. Before they left they had an intense training camp to prepare them for the trip, make them into a team and teach them to rely on God. Now they will be using what they learned and we are praying for them and the Chinese students they will be with. It's so thrilling to know my children are doing God's work.

He Moves Me

Several months ago I took a brief sabbatical. My husband and I had agreed that we each needed to have a weekend alone, away from normal routines to have time to think, pray, worship and be with God. I took mine in October last year.

I spent Friday night in a motel room worshipping the Lord with music (not too loud :-), and both Saturday and Sunday I spent in nature. Friday I went to an arboretum. It was a perfect day, sunny and warm but not too hot, but since it was October it was nearly deserted and I almost had the place to myself (like 250 acres or something). I just soaked up God's glory as I looked at His creations. Somehow the shades of green in nature just fill me up with good feelings. The breeze was just perfect to set the colored leaves fluttering on the branches. Mmmmm, I love autumn.

Saturday I spent on the beach. Relaxing to the rhythmic splashing of the waves on the sand. Awestruck by the vastness of the water and the very strong wind. Walking and thinking and just feeling God all around me. It was wonderful. How can anyone think this could just happen on it's own?

It was wonderfully refreshing.

I had hoped that God would speak to me during that time with a flash of light or some other instant and powerful new knowing. I came home feeling good, but a little disappointed I hadn't had any great new revelations. When my husband asked me about it I tried to explain as best I could but I couldn't really put together the few bits I felt maybe God wanted me to get out of it. All I really felt was that God wanted me to to do something for him. What? Anything. Just do something. Something for others so they can see God. But that didn't seem new or amazing and it just seemed there was something more than that and I just couldn't see it. And besides, he didn't tell me specifically what I should do. Still had to figure that out.

It has taken me time to process it. But those bits have come together now. When I went away I was feeling beaten down by my failure, because I kept repeating the same sins: yelling at my children, anger at my husband, envy of others' talents, lack of my own self-discipline, etc. But I was the one beating myself up over those things. Over and over again. That weekend God was trying to tell me that I wasn't moving forward, wasn't accomplishing things for Him because I was too busy dwelling on my past sin. I was labeling myself as a failure and preventing myself from being an active participant in God's work. He had forgiven me and my sin was as far from me as the east is from the west. I needed to live that. Lightbulb moment! :-)

I haven't completely broken free but God's working on it. And I've started moving. In fact, the revelation didn't come until after I was obedient to God's urging me to do something for Him. I've always been concerned with meeting others' needs when they are in difficult circumstances. The idea began to grow of starting a food pantry in our church. I began researching the idea and got another lady from church on board and the pastor is eager for us to begin. We've got lots of ideas and a location within the church. Unfortunately, Satan has been trying to hinder our church recently, and so the pantry is still waiting for approval and a budget while other things are handled. But writing this post helps me remember I need to not let this slip away, but to do what I can to move forward with it so I am obedient to God's call to me: To do something for othersto share His Glory with them.